Polish’s Deck Tech: Douchebag Blue - How not to make friends
Do you want to be that one guy? You know, that ONE guy? No, not the weird guy with body odor in the corner of the FNM, but the jackass no one wants to play with? Then you’ve come to the right deck tech tech!
For those of you that didn’t know, this deck was originally piloted by an OG Pro-Magic player named Randy Buehler. He might be the guy responsible for Counterspell never seeing print in the base set EVER AGAIN. For good reasons of course. With the main deck packing in with 21 types of countermagic, no average combo deck can go off. Ever.
This deck is completely miserable to play against. There are ways around the deck like an extremely aggressive aggro deck, but in the kitchen table arena, this thing ruins hopes, dreams and will probably kidnap your pet dog too. Let me pull up an example of what recently happened at my friend’s house a few days ago:
Me: So what deck do you wanna play test against?
Karen: *flipping through my box* Oh how about this Mill deck?
Me: Umm, that’s not a mill deck… That’s my old “Draw-Go” deck…
Karen: What’s “Draw-Go”?
Me: Exactly what it sounds like. It’s not really fun to play against.
Karen: Well it’s just a Blue deck right?
Karen: If it doesn’t have delver, I’m game!
Turn 1: Island, GO
Karen: Plains, Steppe Lynx
Me: Tap, Force Spike.
Karen: *Reads card* …
Turn 2: Island, GO
Karen: Plains, Thalia, Guardian of Thraben
Me: Tap 2, Counterspell…
Turn 9: Island, GO
Karen: Tap 5, Baneslayer Angel
Me: Tap 5, Desertion
Karen: … *reads card*
Karen: (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Karen: Oblivion Ring on Baneslayer
Me: Tap, Force Spike…
Karen: (╯°Д°）╯︵/(.□ . \)
3 Rainbow Efreet
4 Force Spike
3 Mana Leak
4 Nevinyrral’s Disk
4 Whispers of the Muse
4 Stalking Stones
4 Sea Sprite
3 Energy Flux
The original list has been slightly altered for old playgroups. The deck had no answers to Thrun, so I had to up the Rainbows up to 3 for chump blocking. Also, Unsummons against infect decks and Energy Flux against Affinity. Keep in mind, I kept the cardpool during the same Standard year, so there was no access to Urza’s block yet.
I never further upgraded the deck past Urza’s block simply because I was out priced out of the Standard format (including my WW deck). I eventually tried Hatred decks into extended, but shortly quit MTG when Masque block ended. Mercadian Masques block was the reason why I quit Magic back then, sad to say.
Remember, don’t be that one guy at FNM.