ELSPETH TIREL: A BIOGRAPHY? by askelspeth (original post)
“Let me tell you about Elspeth Tirel. This badass was born in a mental asylum for Phyrexians. She was locked away, tortured, and had to watch everyone around her succumb to the glistening oil (because her spark makes her immune). Everyone around her is killed or becomes a monster, and they were probably all tortured; not to mention experiments, because ‘oh hey, why isn’t this one turning like the others?’. But when they come to kill her, she casts a spell OUT OF PURE INSTINCT and ‘walks away.
So this little 13-year-old badass is wandering planes and doing Urza-knows-what ALL ON HER OWN, until she finds Bant and becomes a knight… And all this time she’s hiding her powers because, and I fucking quote, ‘I prefer to earn my place in the heavens.’ So when she finally reveals her badass, the people are all like ‘OMG, let us honor you’, and she’s all ‘NO, I DECEIVED YOU ALL TOO LONG, I MUST GO…’.
And then she leaves and becomes a FUCKING GLADIATOR to lie low; until Koth is like ‘COME TO MIRRODIN, THERE ARE PHYREXIANS’. So she goes to face the nightmares of her childhood. BUT FIRST SHE RUNS AWAY, because she’s the only one in the party that knows how much Phyrexians will fuck your shit up. But then she COMES BACK IN A BLAZE OF GLORY AND SAVES KOTH AND VENSER’S ASSES, and then they save Karn.
So now this badass fights her nightmares EVERY WAKING DAY for a plane SHE CAN LEAVE AT ANY TIME because SHE CAN. I’ve done so many examinations of her flaws, let me be vain here, haha.
But yeah. If you don’t like Elspeth, FIGHT ME.”